Science Rag

I currently work as a contributor for Science Rag, writing parody articles of current events in science. My name is not any of the articles that I've written as they pay me $40 per piece, which is the current cost of my silence. 

Anyway, here is are some of my favorite articles that I've written, I can provide proof that I've written them in case you feel like I've done anything to betray your trust.

Synthetic Tissue Cannot Replace Hole that Ex Left in My Heart

Study Shows People Likely to Misinterpret Bar Graphs, Attempt to Eat Pie Charts

Smart Stitches Heal Wound, Remind You Not to Snitch Again

Neptune Is Cooler than We Thought, Reveals New Satellite Images Showing Planet Wearing Backwards Hat and Sunglasses

Local Grandma Successfully Sews Up Holes in Our DNA